Comments on: The Conversation About Children http://www.newstasis.com/2007/10/21/the-conversation-about-children/ helping you find a better life one state at a time Sat, 19 May 2012 17:41:32 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.5 by: Tony http://www.newstasis.com/2007/10/21/the-conversation-about-children/#comment-675 Mon, 10 Dec 2007 21:57:35 +0000 http://www.newstasis.com/2007/10/21/the-conversation-about-children/#comment-675 Tracie. Again, your post conveys quite the negative perception of life. "Tragedies of life" (ie. violence, disease, etc)? The "tragedy" of death? I simply don't share that perspective... and I'm obviously there's something that's keeping you from blowing your brains out of your head :-) Life has just as many opportunities and successes... as it does failures and tragedies. How a person has been raised... will certainly influence if a person has a tendency to overlook the small successes.... or amplify the failures. Look, I'm as cynical as it comes to human nature (specifically others). But now that I have a better understanding of it, I can work with it and live with it in a manner that still allows me to enjoy my life. And that's part of the life process (ie. maturity). People have choices -- that's the beauty of life. Although we cannot choose our parents (genetics), there are things that we can do to avoid disease (too many to mention), there are things we can do to avoid violence (too many to mention), there are things we can do to avoid the pitfalls of existence. But harping back to my original post.... people are accountable to themselves. It's up to each of us to make the right decisions for ourselves. And that's the ultimate test for a parent... the truly "unconditional" love that most people are incapable of. Loving and supporting your children despite possibly disagreeing with their "choices". Selfishness comes into play... when a parent thinks that they can manipulate their children into making THEIR choices for them -- despite even the best of intentions. And I don't have a problem with a person admitting that they don't have children because they realize that the responsibility is overwhelming. Being honest with yourself is more important than just about anything. Tracie. Again, your post conveys quite the negative perception of life. “Tragedies of life” (ie. violence, disease, etc)? The “tragedy” of death? I simply don’t share that perspective… and I’m obviously there’s something that’s keeping you from blowing your brains out of your head :-)

Life has just as many opportunities and successes… as it does failures and tragedies. How a person has been raised… will certainly influence if a person has a tendency to overlook the small successes…. or amplify the failures.

Look, I’m as cynical as it comes to human nature (specifically others). But now that I have a better understanding of it, I can work with it and live with it in a manner that still allows me to enjoy my life. And that’s part of the life process (ie. maturity).

People have choices — that’s the beauty of life. Although we cannot choose our parents (genetics), there are things that we can do to avoid disease (too many to mention), there are things we can do to avoid violence (too many to mention), there are things we can do to avoid the pitfalls of existence.

But harping back to my original post…. people are accountable to themselves. It’s up to each of us to make the right decisions for ourselves. And that’s the ultimate test for a parent… the truly “unconditional” love that most people are incapable of. Loving and supporting your children despite possibly disagreeing with their “choices”.

Selfishness comes into play… when a parent thinks that they can manipulate their children into making THEIR choices for them — despite even the best of intentions.

And I don’t have a problem with a person admitting that they don’t have children because they realize that the responsibility is overwhelming. Being honest with yourself is more important than just about anything.

]]> by: Tracie http://www.newstasis.com/2007/10/21/the-conversation-about-children/#comment-670 Thu, 06 Dec 2007 19:32:34 +0000 http://www.newstasis.com/2007/10/21/the-conversation-about-children/#comment-670 Sorry Tony, didn't mean to offend --and don't misunderstand--I have children & I love them dearly. My point was only this--the world is full of unpleasant events--including violence, disease and loss of life. I am not implying "that we as a species should stop propagating the species"--my point to Patrick was simply this: if someone thought that not having kids was selfish on his part, then isn't it just possible that it is in fact just the opposite--afterall, who would purposely subject a new human life to the inevitable tragedies of life and death?? Sorry Tony, didn’t mean to offend –and don’t misunderstand–I have children & I love them dearly. My point was only this–the world is full of unpleasant events–including violence, disease and loss of life. I am not implying “that we as a species should stop propagating the species”–my point to Patrick was simply this: if someone thought that not having kids was selfish on his part, then isn’t it just possible that it is in fact just the opposite–afterall, who would purposely subject a new human life to the inevitable tragedies of life and death??

]]> by: Tony http://www.newstasis.com/2007/10/21/the-conversation-about-children/#comment-657 Wed, 05 Dec 2007 06:41:26 +0000 http://www.newstasis.com/2007/10/21/the-conversation-about-children/#comment-657 Hi Tracie, As a father of 2 children (happily married now, at least I think :-)... my son is a little more than 2 years old and my daughter was born just a week ago. To say that the realities, challenges, possibilities and consequences we face as a species is so overwhelming that we should stop propagating the species is a little melodramatic. Sorry. Every person is ultimately responsible for themselves... and I don't think I'd be exaggerating to say that a good number of people may be experiencing happy and fulfilling lives in spite of it all. To assume bringing a child into the world is "selfish" is naive and erroneous -- it implies you actually have an understanding of the motivation of each and every parent that conceives. Raising a child tests your ability for "unconditional" love. That's as far from "selfish" as it gets. Of course, that ability isn't a necessity to survive.... or even happiness, for that matter. For some people it is a need. And for others, it's just a way of life. Hi Tracie,

As a father of 2 children (happily married now, at least I think :-) … my son is a little more than 2 years old and my daughter was born just a week ago.

To say that the realities, challenges, possibilities and consequences we face as a species is so overwhelming that we should stop propagating the species is a little melodramatic. Sorry. Every person is ultimately responsible for themselves… and I don’t think I’d be exaggerating to say that a good number of people may be experiencing happy and fulfilling lives in spite of it all.

To assume bringing a child into the world is “selfish” is naive and erroneous — it implies you actually have an understanding of the motivation of each and every parent that conceives.

Raising a child tests your ability for “unconditional” love. That’s as far from “selfish” as it gets. Of course, that ability isn’t a necessity to survive…. or even happiness, for that matter. For some people it is a need. And for others, it’s just a way of life.

]]> by: Pat http://www.newstasis.com/2007/10/21/the-conversation-about-children/#comment-514 Tue, 23 Oct 2007 20:56:16 +0000 http://www.newstasis.com/2007/10/21/the-conversation-about-children/#comment-514 Hi Tracie, I see your point of view because there does seem to be a whole lot of evil in the world but I'm still naive enough to believe that good people or a good person can raise children successfully provided they love their children, have the resources to be able to spend ample time with them and actually want to do it. I wouldn't consider it a selfish thing if it is thought out. Parenting is a tough job (at least that's what my folks told me) and when you factor in the worlds evils, it's a job that one should only undertake if they really and truly want to. Hi Tracie,
I see your point of view because there does seem to be a whole lot of evil in the world but I’m still naive enough to believe that good people or a good person can raise children successfully provided they love their children, have the resources to be able to spend ample time with them and actually want to do it. I wouldn’t consider it a selfish thing if it is thought out. Parenting is a tough job (at least that’s what my folks told me) and when you factor in the worlds evils, it’s a job that one should only undertake if they really and truly want to.

]]> by: Tracie http://www.newstasis.com/2007/10/21/the-conversation-about-children/#comment-513 Tue, 23 Oct 2007 18:40:54 +0000 http://www.newstasis.com/2007/10/21/the-conversation-about-children/#comment-513 I don't think your decision to NOT have children is a selfish one at all--in fact, quite the opposite. Don't you think that the decision of bringing a child into the world in which we live today is actually the selfish decision? poverty, drugs, alcohol, abuse, disease, violence..... I don’t think your decision to NOT have children is a selfish one at all–in fact, quite the opposite. Don’t you think that the decision of bringing a child into the world in which we live today is actually the selfish decision?
poverty, drugs, alcohol, abuse, disease, violence…..

]]>