A friend of mine has started smoking again. He was badly hooked for almost 20 years and made the decision to quit about a year ago. He has started having the occasional cigarette again and doesn’t seem to register that smoking isn’t healthy. He believes his claim that he can have one every now and then and that it isn’t a problem. I’ve been there, quitting and only having the occasional smoke. Problem is with most people who smoked so much or so frequently that they needed to stop doing it is that we are addicted now and likely forever – I know I am and there’s a good chance that he is too.
I LOVE smoking. I found it to be one of the most pleasurable things that I have ever done. I was good at it if that is possible. I could smoke a pack a day, during meals, before and for breakfast, anytime and any place. I joke that I made two big mistakes in life, the first being that I started smoking and the second being that I stopped. I think about it almost everyday and there are times when I crave them. I haven’t been a smoker in almost 10 years and I believe that if I live long enough I will become a smoker again – I would likely start smoking if I had a terminal illness.
I HATE smoking. I find if to be one of the most destructive things that I have ever done. I couldn’t stop smoking at will. I needed to smoke a pack a day to feel normal. I needed to smoke in the middle of meals to enjoy the meal, it needed to be the first thing I did in the morning, it was always on my mind and I didn’t have control over my actions when I was a smoker. I wish I had never started because I wouldn’t be thinking about smoking right now, and again now, and right there again. I hate that there is something on the planet that will make me lose control, something that I could easily fall back into doing that ruins my life.
If you have quit, put the smokes down and don’t ever pick them up again. If you had to quit, you have to keep quitting, over and over again until you are gone. It’s just too easy for the brain and body to fall back into the old behaviors because they are still there and they were so much fun! But you’ll think you have a handle on it until that moment when you realize, with stinking hands and nasty breath that you can’t stop and need to quit.