It is important to realize that the journey of self-awareness and enlightenment you are taking is very similar to the journey most others are taking. While your experiences, perceptions and interpretations are unique and special in and of themselves, they are not unique or special in the world. All are on the journey, some are more aware of this fact than others and some are controlling the journey making their life exactly what they need it to be.
This is mentioned because it is very easy to transfer our lessons and understandings onto another person and then blame them for not taking the action that our lessons revealed. Astounding as this may seem, their journey may not have led them to the same experience and lesson that makes one an “expert” in a situation.
What’s more likely is that they are looking at you wondering how you didn’t get the life experiences to adequately solve this situation in the way they learned how to address it. Weird as that may seem to them, your life didn’t prepare you as well as it prepared them.
When this stuff happens, when there is a problem to be solved and two people need to figure out the most effective way to solve it, there is a matrix of possibilities that will reveal the possible future of the combined problem resolution behavior:
- There is a problem to be solved, neither one is an expert and both openly admit a lack of knowledge. If it is a trivial thing, one of you do it this time, the other do it next time. You’ll eventually learn how to deal with it if it comes up often enough. If it’s important, you’ll agree to ask an expert for help to make sure you both move forward appropriately. Very workable.
- There is a problem to be solved and neither one is an expert and neither one will admit it. There is a power struggle at play here. The lack of openness about ones lack of knowledge makes this a potentially unworkable situation as both people are more concerned about managing and controlling the perceptions of the other vs. solving the problem at hand.
- There is a problem to be solved, one person is an expert and the other person won’t admit that they are not an expert. This can develop into an unworkable mess as going against an expert when you know very little is indicative of insecurity or a power struggle.
- There is a problem to be solved and both are experts. Being experts, both they that there are many ways to solve a problem or they agree on the only way to solve the problem. What happens here is that both will learn from the other while the best solution is synthesized. This is a very workable situation.
In most cases, the variables are level of expertise and a willingness to state it. It’s simple, you either know or you don’t. If you don’t know and you can admit you don’t know, you can find the answer and solve your problems quickly. If you don’t know and won’t admit that you don’t know, you are going to misrepresent yourself to appear like someone who does (an expert). As a consequence of being full of shit, you aren’t going to solve the problem effectively and will likely berate the other person for a lack of resolution with a situation.
Key to solving problems, existing in a partnership and generally being a successful person is a willingness see, accept and declare your level of expertise about things. It’s pretty simple, if others can’t help or teach you, you won’t learn from others, which is a really great way to waste a lot of your life.