1 Year Ago Today

A year ago my father’s diagnosis of GBM was revealed. I’m a little sick just thinking about it.

The year has been a whirl wind of emotions, introspection and lessons. I’ve had to do a lot of growing-up and reorganize how I view my support structure. I’ve lost some friends because I can act out and because helping to manage someone through the grief process can be a challenge, and for reasons that were never revealed to me. I take solace from the lessons they taught and the support they were able to give while they could. All parties do their best in situations like these.

I’ve gained a lot of insight into how I was existing in the world, my strong traits, my development areas and what is in my core. Today I have a much better understanding of how I handle the world, my thoughts and what I plan on doing with the next portion of my life.

Through all of it, I’ve come to realize that I’m a lot more like my dad than I was able to see a year ago. And I’m grateful for this. He modeled a lot of behavior, taught me a lot of lessons and guided me towards a lot of wisdom. He once told me that you just need to do your best, and have as much fun as you can because it won’t last forever. I agree with the first part and have started to accept the second part.